Podcast by Tucker Boyle
02 September 2026
In this episode, Stan and Tucker sit down with Mamie Payne — therapist, mother of five, eighth-generation Texan now living on Vancouver Island — for a conversation about the inner world and what it costs to distrust it.
Mamie traces a thread back to childhood: a moment when something in her flared up in disagreement with a person she loved and respected, and she found herself, without any language for it, standing somewhere she hadn't chosen to stand. That inner knowing became her compass. It also became the thing she held in shadow for decades, convinced that her disagreement was evidence of something wrong in her.
She reads from a journal she kept twenty years ago and describes the years spent trying to close a gap she now believes was never there — praying harder, repenting more, waiting for a joy that kept not arriving. What eventually shifted wasn't more effort. It was permission to stop: to take her foot off the gas and discover that grace wasn't waiting on the other side of her improvement.
There's also the honest part: what this looks like on a Tuesday, with five kids and a house that needs cleaning. Mamie doesn't pretend it's tidy.
If you've ever suspected you have to earn your way back to your own wholeness, this one is for you.
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50:13
15 August 2026
In this episode, Stan and Tucker sit down together with a listener's question: when a hard feeling shows up in the body and I slow my breathing to steady myself, am I doing the work — or just avoiding it politely? And what if the feeling is bigger than I can hold?
The move they're after is the one most of us spend our lives avoiding: going toward discomfort instead of away. That means paying attention to the physical sensations that come with emotion — the pit in the stomach, the tight shoulders — and staying with them long enough that they can move through rather than settle in. Along the way, Rumi's image of the heart as a guest house where every feeling arrives as a visitor worth receiving, and Bruce Tift's distinction between the pain life hands us and the extra suffering we create by bracing against it.
Both hosts are clear that this isn't quick or easy, and that you get to move at your own pace. But something waits on the other side that doesn't seem to arrive any other way. The relief you're looking for may not be past the feeling — it may be in how you meet it.
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10 August 2026
In this episode, Stan and Tucker sit down with John Kesler — attorney, longtime meditator, member of the member of the LDS Church and founder of Integral Polarity Practice.
John begins with the year, decades ago, when every belief he held came apart - including his atheism. Alone in Germany, he sat for months while everything dissolved. He describes it as falling into an abyss — until he finally touched something underneath language and construct, something that could hold him. That search eventually led him to a religious journey and a novel foundational practice.
A polarity is a pair of opposites inside us that seem to compete but actually need each other. Agency and communion is the one John unpacks here: the pull to be your own person, and the pull to belong. Too much agency and we end up alone; too much communion and we lose ourselves. Most of us pick a side and quietly decide the other side is the problem. John describes what opens up when we slow down enough to find what he calls the still point — the place where both are held, and where a third possibility often appears that neither option offered.
The conversation moves from a small, honest example in Tucker's own week to the harder terrain of faith transition: what to do when the framework that once brought comfort no longer fits, and how to stay loving toward people who still hold it. John is clear throughout that this practice isn't meant to replace what anyone already believes, but to bring more freedom to it. The episode closes with him guiding Stan and Tucker through a live practice, inviting them to speak from two voices inside themselves and let them come together as one.
To learn more about Integral Polarity Practice — courses, coaching, and events — visit https://theippinstitute.com/
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01:06:29
25 July 2026
In this episode, Stan and Tucker sit down with Savannah, the co-host who anchored the podcast's first season, for an update on where she's landed.
Savannah completed her Master's program and is now a therapist. She shares her faith journey over the past couple of years and walks through a conversation she'd been dreading for a year and a half: telling her family she's stepped away from church. More importantly, she shows us how she did it — how to show up with compassion and authenticity in a high-stakes conversation with the people you love most. Savannah offers a template for staying grounded, speaking from your own experience, and holding compassion for those you love even when they're grieving their own loss.
Listeners will find themselves in her story. Savannah's honesty and grace offer real hope — and concrete tools — for navigating the conversations that matter most, and for staying connected while telling the truth.
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18 July 2026
In this episode, Stan and Tucker sit down with Madeline Hale — a fourth-generation member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, born just outside Glasgow and now running a hair salon in London. Madeline traces her spiritual life all the way back to childhood: from the time she was, in her words, "a wee tiny girl," she was taught she could speak directly with God and that she was known, wanted, and sent here on purpose. That early, unshakeable sense of belonging settled into her before she had any language for it, and it quietly carried her through decades of everyday emotions.
Madeline doesn't shy away from her reputation, though: she's got a famously quick temper — "every stereotype you know about a Scottish person," as she puts it — and for years that fire showed up as real resentment toward her faith community: sharp words, short patience, not much listening.
Then came a pandemic-era turning point that changed things. Madeline describes a shift so total that her whole world became purely spirituality for a while, and how that season reshaped her relationship to God, to herself, and to the people around her. She introduces the idea of "transmission" — her word for a wordless, almost cellular sense of connection that passes between people without anyone saying a thing. She and the hosts also dig into Stan's framework of the three foundational relationships (to self, to the divine, and to others), and what happens when one of them breaks and takes the other two down with it.
What's most refreshing is what didn't change: Madeline is upfront that people still irritate her plenty — the fire's still there. What's different is the space between the spark and the response, and the fierce love that's underneath it now. The episode closes with a short heart-centered practice led by Tucker.
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23 June 2026
In this episode, Stan and Tucker open with a quote from Carl Jung: until the unconscious becomes conscious, it will direct our lives — and we'll call it fate. From there, they dig into what that actually looks like in practice. Somatic work means tuning into the body's raw physical sensations — tightness, heat, pressure, a knot in the gut — as a doorway into whatever's unresolved beneath the surface, rather than staying stuck in the stories we tell about why we feel that way. To bring the idea to life, Tucker invites a guest into the conversation: Claude, the AI, who guides him through a live, unscripted somatic session right on mic. What starts as quiet tension in his belly turns into a real-time exploration of resistance, control, and a part of him that's been working overtime since childhood. Stan sits in as witness, offering his own reflections on sensation, story, and the vulnerability of going this deep in front of an audience. It's a raw look at what this inner work actually sounds like when you stop talking about it and just do it.
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Information on Harmony Road Retreats can be found at: https://www.harmonyroadretreats.com/
At Harmony Road Retreats, we know the difficulty of faith journeys. They can shake our relationships, our sense of community, and our sense of hope in the future. We also know how valuable it is to have a safe space where you can explore your experience. We seek to create an atmosphere where both those who do and those who don’t participate in religion will find relevance, emotional safety, and peace.
When we find harmony inside of us, we tap into wisdom and guidance that will help us navigate life’s most challenging situations, enabling us to make confident decisions from a place of peace.
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